So Stupid, They Rub Off On You
Do you believe in idiots?
Idiots are like fairies. Elusive creatures, and they actually do exist.
Only, fairies are uncommon. Idiots, however, are everywhere.
The most common place for idiots to nest in is a classroom or other place of learning.
It's usually unwilling, when an idiot arrives at this place.
Some of you may know what it's like to teach an idiot, imbecile, twit, or any other word for "brainless being"?
If so, move on.
For the rest of you, this is a description of the pain many people go through.
If you're an idiot yourself, you may also want to move on. I'm sure you already know how frustrating you are to put up with.
Ok.
1. Why are idiots so freaking annoying?
Simple question, rather difficult to answer.
Some would say it is their utter boldness.
There is an idiot in my class who got a mohawk. You know, with every single strand of hair that isn't part of the mohawk shaved off.
It's horrible and disgusting. On him, anyway- I don't mean to offend anybody with that hairstyle. Teehee. Hee.
This is frustrating because they think they are cool, and they are only digging their graves deeper. And you slap your hand to your forehead and you're like, Ugh. What a lame guy.
Some would say it is the stupidity itself.
Hanging there, obvious, like a cobweb on the ceiling. Well, a hot pink one anyway.
My favorite quote (seen on a magnet)
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
Some, finally, would say it is the frustration OF the idiot that MAKES the idiot so darn frustrating.
"Mohawk Man" will sit in his chair, looking over his math paper in frustration.
(Addition of fractions. He just screams idiot.)
His face will turn red and he will throw a tantrum. The lunch aide will come over, comfort him, give him the answers to the whole freaking paper, and then give him a Twizzler.
At this point, I'm the one who feels like screaming. And I know everyone around me feels the same way.
Idiots like Mohawk Man are notorious for creating a hostile environment. It only digs them deeper.
2. So what about the teaching?
You have foue choices on this. I list them in order of recommendation, best choices at the top.
A. Avoid it.
B. Do it horribly so the position will be taken from you.
C. Run away, child, and never come back!
D. Make the best of this torture.
A. So you want to avoid teaching idiots? Here's how:
Belittle the person and be ruthless, vicious mean to them. Swish this torment through your teeth with evident pride. They will see that your bitter hate will stop you from doing a good job.
B. If you are still given the job of teaching idiots, try your best to be bitter, cold, cruel, ignorant, and downright mean towards the idiot. Eventually the blind mice who gave you the job should resign you happily. Hurray, everybody wins!
C. Self-explanatory. Never show up around the idiot. Totally ignore them. Never say hello- act as if they aren't there.
D. Alright. Here we go. Just remember:
I am not responsible for any unhappiness towards you while teaching the twit. After all, it was your choice to "make the best of it".
Method 1: Answering Machine
Named because all you need to do is spout off the lessons without stopping to answer the idiot or pay attention to anything. The only thing you need to do besides jabber is pray that the idiot soaks it all up.
Method 2: Papers
Endless papers. Every time the student finishes a paper, give him/her another. And insist on a "quiet test environment" even though the idiot is the only one there.
Method 3: Throw Him/Her Out The Window
(I request that everybody who reads this article, reply.)